Release the Kraken!

Today on the blog I’m talking to the very talented M. Caspian, author of one of my favourite m/m tentacle reads, KRAKEN. Thanks for stopping by, M.

You’re welcome. Thank you for having me. But before you ask any questions, I have to thank you, Lisa. You had no reason to pick up my book, and I’m so grateful that you did. I don’t even know how you saw it. Once you reviewed it, BAM: it went on 40 to-read lists. And thank you everyone who read it, even if you decided tentacles weren’t for you. I’ve been overwhelmed by the book’s reception by readers. I’m very thankful and happy.

Hey. Fresh non-con m/m tent-sex? As soon as that hit my radar, I was all over it! I’ll start with an incredibly unfair question: why tentacles? And I only ask this because I’m not sure of the reasons I like it so much myself. Only that I do. I definitely do. Is it the dub-con factor? The weird Other/alien factor? Or does it tap into something older than that: humanity’s primal fear of the monsters in the deep and the dark?

When I was a child I had a bed with storage drawers underneath it. I was convinced there was an octopus living in those drawers. It was my deepest fear. I made my mom check every night, but of course she wouldn’t pull all the drawers out at the same time, so I knew the octopus was simply playing Scooby Doors with her. Waiting. Biding its time.

Because I was afraid, I had to know more. Sheer terror made me learn about octopuses, and cephalopods in general. It’s that sense of the abject, you know? You want to look away, but you have to keep watching. Much as with YouTube videos of people s.l.o.w.l.y removing nose pore strips.

I think interesting things come from juxtaposition. What we wish for, and what we fear, at the same time. That’s why love and hate together are so powerful. Love and indifference: meh, no big deal. Tentacled creatures are both very different and very similar to us, simultaneously. When you watch an octopus work out a puzzle, its intelligence seems very human, but when you see it watching you back, you also realize it’s utterly alien. And octopuses are solitary, whereas human are inherently social.

I guess I was just thinking about tentaclesex fics where the tentacle monster is just like a human, which kind of overlooks that they are not only a completely different species, but a different phylum! There would be a distinct difficulty in creating empathy between an octopus and a human. One is utterly individual, yet good at mimicry and camouflage, and collects and keeps things it finds pleasing. The other creates social connections as a matter of survival and uses the exposure of vulnerabilities, and sharing, as a way of creating emotional closeness. It’s a recipe for disaster, relationship wise.

Saying that, I don’t want to overthink things, here. I mean, it’s horror tentacle porn. There’s the . . . length aspect. Tentacles: getting into places other appendages just don’t reach, since 1624. It should be oozy fun with the occasional shudder. Which is why writing Cy and Will was so enjoyable.

Were you inspired at all by hentai, or did you find your own way towards tentacles?

No, actually, I’m not a big hentai fan. I’ve always gone more the traditional art history route. I know most tent fans are familiar with Hokusai’s shunga work Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife -- 

-- but you know, there’s a Reuben with tents from the Marie de’Medici series, that’s 200 years older: the one where she’s arriving in Marseilles. 

There’s no actual penetration, you understand, but the lushness of the tentacles, and the slippery silveriness where they blend into a meaty thigh . . . well, they’re gorgeous. And also look muscular enough to rip a horse apart.

One thing that impressed me a lot about KRAKEN was the research. I mean, I actually learned something about cephalopods. Was there anything you learned while you were writing KRAKEN?

Arguably, I already knew more about cephalopods than is strictly healthy. But I did learn that there are squid who live too deep for ink clouds to be an effective predator deterrent, and instead they extrude a gelatinous glowing glob, made with bio-luminescent bacteria, to act as a decoy. I would have liked to have worked that in somehow, but, you know, a mucous glob, even a glowing mucous glob, is pretty challenging to make sexy. Also I now know entirely too much about the processes and chemistry involved in copper smelting. Probably best to avoid me at parties.   

I’ve raved about the world building in KRAKEN before. The island feels very authentic, with its own history and industry and geography. It felt very real, even while the story itself was imbued with a kind of dreamlike (or nightmarish) quality as we experience the island along with Will. That’s not a question. That’s an observation. See? I’m still raving about the world building!

So let’s talk Cy. To begin with, I didn’t know what to make of Cy. I felt that you set him up like so many “alphas” in m/m romance – he was all possessive and “you’re mine” and right on the line of the creep factor. The sort of guy that seems so popular in romance. And then you pushed him right over the edge into Freaky Monster OMFG Get It Away From Me territory. Which I loved! Was it your intention to subvert readers’ expectations in that way?

Ah, the possessive alpha male we love so much. Yes, I wanted to kind of extend that to its logical conclusion. Because, in the real world, possessive alpha males are not sexy after the first half hour. But in a book – hell, yes. So at what point would Cy stop being perceived as alpha, and clearly start being sociopathic? And I think that point is different for every reader. But then he’s never seen an actual successful relationship modelled for him: maybe he’s just a lonely tentacle monster who grasps precious things too tightly to his chest, until he cracks them.

No, no, don't try and make me feel sorry for him now! Was KRAKEN your first attempt at writing a novel? If so, was it different than you thought it would be? Did you find anything easier or harder than you thought you would?

Technically, not my first attempt. I wrote a fantasy novel when I was 13. It had hand-drawn maps. I may have spent more time on the maps than the plot. My English teacher raved about it, so naturally I threw it in the garbage in embarrassment and never tried another. Until Kraken.

OMG. Interrupting here to reminisce about my own fantasy epic with hand-drawn maps. Terrible. It was just terrible. About four million words long without a single original idea. Sigh. I loved it so. 

Was it different than I thought it would be? That’s a tough question. It makes novel-writing akin to an unexplored country, doesn’t it? “But the portions are so big! And how do I purchase a subway ticket?”

What did surprise me was that the characters seemed to have their own minds, and I was merely transcribing their actions onto the page. There’s a scene in the book where Cy does something particularly . . . um . . . bad. I initially thought that was going to be a sweet love scene. Cy took Will by the hand, led him into the bedroom, and suddenly I’m pleading for Cy to stop because he’s freaking the hell out of me. But my fingers kept typing. According to experts, that’s the sign of a terrible writer: losing control of what is happening on the page.

Pfft. Experts have no fun.

Was anything harder than I expected? Well, I assumed everything would be hard. And I was right. But the hardest thing of all: mistakes! Not even typos: flat out mistakes that nobody caught, least of all me. Like *cough* Cy and Will having a conversation in the kitchen, and Parker leaning back against the kitchen counter to deliver a line. Say what now? To my shame, the story was indeed riddled with typos. I was racing to get it out as a freebie for Christmas Day, and I just didn’t get them all. If you downloaded a free copy, then you can go to Smashwords and get the latest version. Which is possibly typo-free. And definitely has no Parker in the kitchen. If you bought it from Amazon, then you got a clean copy. But I do apologize for that.

What was better than expected was the astounding generosity of spirit from everyone around me. My betas. You, Lisa, interviewing me here. Author Anyta Sunday, who gave me truly invaluable feedback on the second draft. All the readers who recc’d, rated, or reviewed Kraken.  I thought it would take months for anyone to read my book. That people read it, and liked it, has made me happier than anything else in my life.

And finally, what can we expect to see next from M. Caspian?

I am working on something. Which does not involve tentacles in any way. But might involve partner-sharing slash exhibitionism. Again, not something every reader wants to enjoy.

I want to keep writing. I enjoy putting words together, but I know how flawed Kraken was. Is. I just want to work at getting better.

One other thing that was unexpected about Kraken was discovering how much I enjoy the physical act of writing fiction. For tech junkies, I have a Ducky keyboard with Cherry blues, and the clicky-clicky is a very appealing sound. The physical feedback a mechanical keyboard offers is remarkably soothing. Writing for fun is a very different beast than writing for work. On those rare occasions the words are flowing, the process is, well, highly pleasurable.

You had me at "partner-sharing slash exhibitionism". Thanks so much for visiting, M, and good luck with your future projects!

Thanks, Lisa.

P.S. Kyn from GR wants me to ask if there is a chance of mpreg in any further tentacle stories.

Dear Kynthos-the-Archer, if you get your prompt ready for the M/M romance story event later in the year, I’ll write one just for you, set in the same universe. Because your updates, and review, kept me smiling through a whole week. Again, a sign of a terrible writer: I know we’re not supposed to read reviews! It probably won’t be MPreg!Will, though. And you have to specify if you want struggly non-con, an HEA, etc.

Hear that, Kyn? We’re all counting on you!

Meanwhile, if you haven’t read KRAKEN yet, you can buy it at Smashwords or at Amazon. And check out my previous post for my gushing review!

Interview with Kate Sherwood

Hi everyone! Today on the blog I’m hosting the very talented Kate Sherwood, author of the wonderful Dark Horse series, and the upcoming releases The Fall and Riding Tall. Kate, welcome to the blog!

I’ll start with what is becoming my standard question to ask visiting authors. When you look out the window, what can you see? (I ask this because I get very excited if people answer “snow”. Because I live in the tropics, and it’s hot, and snow is incredibly exotic to me!) So, what’s outside your window?

I do see snow! Not too much of it right now – we had at least a couple feet last week, but it’s been warm enough to melt most of that. Other than the snow… trees, and then the lake. It’s a pretty excellent view.

I'm shivering just thinking about it! I totally have this image of you living somewhere in wilds of Canada, surrounded by horses and hot men. Is any of this at all accurate?

There is a hot-man-shortage, unfortunately. And wilds might be a bit of a stretch, as is surrounded by horses. But I do live… not quite in the country, because I only have about a half-acre of land and I have neighbours on both sides. But across the street is a farmer’s field (beef cattle grazing) and in the back is the lake, so… pretty countrified, I guess.

I'm starting to think there is a worldwide hot man shortage. Quick. Somebody notify the authorities! 

How long have you been writing, and do you remember the first story that you wrote?

I’ve been writing seriously for… hmmm… Dark Horse  came out in May 2010… I submitted it in November 2009, I think… and I’d probably been writing for about a year before that? So a bit more than five years! Wow, that’s longer than I would have guessed.

Lol! I'm the same. Didn't I just start doing this last week? Where has the time gone? 

You write both f/m and m/m stories. Do you have a preference at all? And do you think that your readers have a preference? Do your m/m readers follow you across to m/f and vice versa?

I honestly don’t have a preference. It’s kind of cool to write both, actually, because I can explore similar themes in each sub-genre, and it’s really interesting to see how things play out differently when there’s a woman involved.

That said, my readers clearly DO have a preference – I don’t get anywhere NEAR the sales on my m/f stuff that I get on my m/m. I know there are a few m/m readers who braved the m/f storm on my behalf, but mostly I think they’re two separate groups, and one of the groups is a hell of a lot bigger than the other!

I still like writing m/f, though. And I have a good day job so I’m not depending on book sales to put food on the table. So I writes what I wants!

 For you, what makes the perfect romantic hero or heroine?

I’m a sucker for quiet emotional strength. Not necessarily blatant enough to be “tough”, but just… solid. I like torturing my characters, of course, and I like knowing that whatever I do to them, they’ll pull through.

  

You write a lot about guys running to (or returning to) small towns who end up confronting their pasts. You seem to have a real affinity with small towns, and the warm, and sometimes claustrophobic, way that they operate. Are you a small town girl yourself, or a sophisticated city dweller at heart? And if money were no object, where would you most like to live in the world?

I grew up in a mid-sized city, and then spent quite a while in Montreal and then Vancouver. I lived right downtown both places. I like cities, but when I moved to the country, I felt like I was coming home. Now when I go back to the city I just want to punch everyone in the face. Especially in traffic. They need to get out of the way. I’m trying to drive, here! So I guess I’m destined to either stay in the country or end up in jail. I chose the country!

In terms of where I’d live if money was no object? Every year right about this time I go through a phase of winter-hatred. It just seems insane that the world is going to be frozen solid for the for the next five months and we’re all just going to try to go about our daily lives as if we don’t even notice that we’re living in some sort of arctic wasteland. But then that goes away, and I start appreciating the snow. There’s something really special about the crunch of really cold snow under your boots on a windless day, or bundling up and lying back in the snow and looking up at the sky, and everything’s muffled and distant…

Yeah, I’d probably want to live somewhere with snow. Which means I might as well stay right where I am. I think I’d spend my money on staff rather than exotic locales. I’m very lazy and would love to have people looking after me!

Me too! Anywhere in the world as long as I didn't have to do my own housework would be nice! 

Here’s my most unfair question of all: of all the characters you have written, who is your favourite?

I’ve got a soft spot for Dan from Dark Horse, for sure. But I’m almost maternal towards him. I want to be sure he’s safe and happy, but I don’t want to actually… put up with his shit. I think I’d get along better with Jeff from Dark Horse. Or maybe Adam Challoner from the Against the Odds series. They’re both older and a bit wiser. They wouldn’t need as much looking after as some of my younger characters would!

And if the Zombie Apocalypse was coming (and let’s never assume it isn’t), which of your characters would you want by your side? And who would only slow you down?

Hee! I answered a similar question for a different blog, and I’m just as tickled now as I was for them.

I have one character who’s an actual super-hero (Toby from The Shift) so if I’m allowed to have him, I want him! Other than him, his partner Cash would be good. Cash has spent his life hunting monsters, so he’d be good with zombies. Joe Sutton from The Fall would be good… he’s a rancher, and generally useful. Ooh, maybe Jack from More than Chemistry – he pretends to be a businessman, but really he’s a science nerd, and that could be useful. And Remy from the Against the Odds series is a total survivor, so maybe I’d bring him and hope he managed to drag me along with him.

Who’d slow me down? Mackenzie from The Fall, probably. He gets better over the course of the book, but even by the end he’s not entirely useful. I think most of the rest of my guys would be pretty good zombie-hunters.

And here’s where you get to tell us all about The Fall and Riding Tall:  

Yay! The Fall is the first book in a two book series. It was meant to be only one book but I realized that I had a lot to say, so… two books! There’s a definite Happy For Now at the end of the first, though, so it’s not imperative that you read the second book in order to get closure.

The Fall is out on 16 December. You can pre-order it from Dreamspinner. 

Every relationship leaves something behind. Dumped by his sugar daddy, part-time model Scott Mackenzie somehow ends up owning an abandoned church in rural Ontario. He dreams of using it for gay weddings, even if he’ll never have one of his own. 

Joe Sutton is trying to keep his family together after his parents’ deaths. Between the family ranch, his brother’s construction company, and commitments around town, he doesn’t have time for a relationship. But Mackenzie is hard to ignore. 

As both men fight their growing attraction, challenges to Mackenzie’s business threaten their relationship. If he can’t make it work, he’ll have to crawl back to the city in defeat. But the only solution involves risking the ranch Joe loves, and each man has to decide how much he’ll sacrifice for the other.

And Riding Tall comes out in February 2014. 

BDSM Week at Boys in Our Books; and news!

Hi everyone! 

Today I am over at Boys In Our Books, talking about BDSM, YKINMK, and other acronyms. Actually, that's a lie. It's just those two. Anyway, head on over if you want to talk about kink, trust, and the eternal question: what's with those hats that leather men wear? 

In other exciting news, only a week until JA Rock and I actually meet! How exciting is that? Pretty exciting. I mean, it must be. I've used the word "exciting" four times in this paragraph already. That's the sort of shit a line editor would pick up on right away, you know. 

And speaking of line editors, wow, it's a busy few weeks coming up. Here's a list of the stuff I have to edit: 

When All The World Sleeps  - with JA Rock

Mark Cooper Versus America - with JA Rock

King of Dublin - with Heidi Belleau

Sweetwater

The more I look at that list, the more terrifying it appears. Oh, did I totally mention I got a contract from Riptide for Sweetwater? Yeah, that happened. 

Wyoming Territory, 1870. Elijah Carter is caught between two very different men, between revenge and despair, in a boom town teetering on the edge of a bust. 

Contains rough BDSM, cheap whiskey, and handsome cowboys. Mmmm...  

And, naturally, a shitload of angst. 

J.A. Rock is here! And the Brat-Tastic Jayk Parker is almost here!

Today on my blog I’m interviewing the fabulous J.A. Rock. J.A.’s new book The Brat-tastic Jayk Parker is out June 4 from Loose Id. You guys should remember Jayk and Amon from last year’s hilarious Wacky Wednesday. Well, this time around, the boys are getting married! But, being Jayk and Amon, I’m sure things won’t exactly go to plan…

J.A., last time I interviewed you, you were some sort of backwoods recluse. Now you’re a globetrotter! Where are you now, and what are you up to?

I am in Valparaiso, Chile right now. Valpo is the cultural capital of Chile, so I’m getting all cultured up. The big issue that’s occupied the last week has been taking care of my lady mullet. It’s the short hair conundrum—if you try to grow it out, the back grows longer than the front, and pretty soon you look like young Wayne Gretzky. So I enlisted the help of my friend’s Argentinian hairdresser boyfriend. He doesn’t speak English and I don’t speak Spanish, which is fine, because I’m incapable of giving a hair stylist specific instructions. Finally he agreed to “create on my head.” “Yes,” I said. “That’s exactly what I want. Please create on my head.” I love what he created. Me gusta mi pelo nuevo.

And here’s the question I ask all my guests: What can you currently see outside your window?

I have one of the views I’ve always dreamed of. I can’t really describe it to you, because I have a really hard time describing buildings (you may recall I asked you to take care of the house descriptions in The Good Boy). But look! Pretty iron gatey thing over the window and a view of number 11’s door. It’s not sweepingly scenic, but it feels perfect for some reason.

This is the view from my house’s patio.

I’ll add Valparaiso to the list of places I am currently too poor to visit. It looks wonderful. And the lights make it look magical!

So, after finally sorting out the body-swap in Wacky Wednesday, what have the boys been up to? Apart from planning their wedding, of course.

They’ve been having a great time. Jayk’s much happier after losing his library job, and he’s been helping his English professor with a book on Emily Dickinson’s sister. Amon’s been busy at A&L Financial with events like the Fun-ancial Potluck. And there’s been a lot of bondage and spanking.

Sorry, my eyes glazed over when you said "bondage and spanking". Next question... Was it fun to revisit the boys after a year? Had you always intended to write a sequel for them, or was it the submission call for wedding-related novels that put the idea in your head?

It was so fun! They’re the easiest characters to work with, because they have this momentum where it feels like I’m not even the one telling the story. I hadn’t planned on a sequel, but suddenly last summer I knew I wanted to do one. I got a draft down and sent it to my editor…who told me LI was going to do a wedding submission call and asked if I wanted to release the book as part of that. So I’ve been sitting on this one for almost a year. Which is awesome, because I got to take a long break from it before revising.

What’s the craziest wedding that you’ve ever been to? There has to be a drunken uncle or inappropriate best man story somewhere in your history.

I went to my first wedding last September, after I wrote the book. It was great for fact checking. Actually, I think I went to a couple of weddings as a child, but I don’t remember them. My best friend got married, and I got to be a bridesmaid. I, um, didn’t want to pay for shoes at the bridal shop and have them dyed, so I bought $7 flats at WalMart and painted them. With oil paint. As a longtime oil painter, you’d think I would know that oil paint can take anywhere from two weeks to six months to dry. I did the shoes the week before the wedding. Tracked green paint everywhere—my car, the driveway, the reception hall. Thank god the wedding was outside. But my shoes did match the dress better than those of the bridesmaids who had them dyed! (Until all the paint rubbed off). Other than that, nothing too crazy happened at the wedding, except that I got to see all my best friends in one convenient location. Ooh, and the photographer was almost killed during the post-ceremony hayride. Forgot about that. We hit a rut in the field.

Not that I wish anything bad had happened to the photographer, but that would be a wedding people would always remember, wouldn’t it? None of this rubbish about how pretty the table decorations were, or what colour the flowers were. “Hey, remember David and Anita’s wedding? I’d never seen so much blood before.” I mean, nobody’s going to top that.

So, let’s talk marriage equity. This is something you only have in a few states in the US, I believe, but I can’t judge since we don’t have it here in Australia yet… taps foot and looks at watch…we’re waiting, government, we’re waiting… What issues did this cause for you in planning Jayk and Amon’s big day?

Good question. I didn’t want politics to be the focus of the story, but I was curious about how the political atmosphere could force Jayk and Amon to explore their more personal issues regarding marriage. There’s the added pressure of “Are we trying to prove something?” and “Do people see this as a wedding or as a novelty?” That stress makes them snap quicker when the personal concerns start cropping up.

I was briefly furious when I realized gay marriage isn’t legal in Michigan, where the book is set. Then I remembered there’s a body swap in the book. I’ve already taken poetic license with, you know, reality.

I can’t wait to see them start to snap under the pressure!

Jayk and Amon have been together a while. What should I buy them for a wedding gift? Is The Stockroom off limits?

The Stockroom in infinitely preferable to Bed Bath & Beyond. But Jayk does mention wanting a Jet Ski shaped like a dolphin, if you don’t want to go the sex sling route.

I would go the sex sling route, except I’ll bet the boys already have one stashed away somewhere. I’m scared of dolphins now. I think it was you who told me they’re the rapists of the sea.

In The Brat-tastic Jayk Parker, do we get to see the proposal?

We do, briefly, in a flashback. Amon puts a ring on it while it’s tied to the headboard.

So now that song's stuck in my head... 

And now give me three alternatives proposal scenarios, please.

1. The ring is in a Wendy’s bag waiting on top of Jayk’s car. (I stole that one from my sister’s life).

Aww! 

2. Jayk shaves “Will you marry me?” into Allen Ginspurr’s fur, but before Amon can see it, Ginspurr commits suicide from the shame. But as they’re burying him, Amon notices the question and says yes.

Okay, that’s horrible. I should never be allowed to propose to anyone.

3. They’re on vacation in Australia. They’ve flown there on an aeroplane. De-sexed pets everywhere, bottle shops lining the streets, possums on the rooftops. They’re sitting in a car park near a harbour, wearing sand shoes and drinking flat whites and eating biscuits and lime jelly and admiring the colour of the sky. Suddenly Jayk realises that dosens of saltwater crocodiles are moving slowly toward them, and each croc has a letter painted on its back. The crocs arrange themselves to spell WILL YOU MARYR ME? (two of them got confused). Analysing the situation, Jayk realises Amon must have organised it all. He is honoured, and he promises if they can get out of the car park full of crocs alive, he’ll marry him.

Hmm...I’m sensing a lot of passive-aggressiveness coming off this last answer. Actually, less passive and more aggressive. This is because of the Twitter fight we had the other day about American English versus Real English, isn’t it? Dosens? Really? We don’t remove every “z”, you know. We just like to use them sparingly, as nature and the Gods of the Alphabet intended. I’m buying you a dictionary for Christmas. Sorry, Christmaz.

And now one with all these elements: Lycra shorts, Halloween, a lost credit card, someone called Francine, and a Winnie the Pooh reference. Your time starts now…go!

Jayk’s on a quest for the perfect pair of yellow lycra shorts and a Brando cap to complete his naughty Winnie the Pooh costume for Halloween. He finally finds what he’s looking for in a place called Francine’s Lycra Land and Adult Emporium. But when he goes to pay, he realizes he’s lost his credit card. He asks Amon, who’s dressing as slutty Tigger, if he’s seen it, but Amon plays dumb. A month later, Jayk receives his credit card statement, which shows an exorbitant purchase made at Kay Jewelers. That’s when Amon surprises him with the news that nobody actually stole Jayk’s identity—they’re just getting married. And Amon used Jayk’s card to pay for the engagement ring. Surpriiiiiiiise…

Is it too late for me to rewrite the proposal scene in the book?

Yes, way too late. Also, that picture is strangely disturbing. Last question: What’s your dream wedding? A carriage and a cathedral, barefoot on the beach, or something in between?

You know, I have never had the slightest interest in getting married, so I never had a dream wedding. I think there was a brief period in my teens where I told my parents I’d consent to get married if I could have a Medieval-themed wedding with actual jousting.

Oh my god! Can I come? I’ll sit up the back and be quiet, I promise? It won’t at all be like that time at the local Mediaeval Players night where I hurt the jester’s feelings by giving it back to him. (He started it.) You know what? Let’s not even bother with the wedding. Let’s just organise some jousting!

Thanks so much for being here today, J.A. I can’t wait to catch up with Jayk and Amon and all that body-swapping craziness!

Thanks for having me! I hope you enjoy.

I know I will!

And here is the blurb for The Brat-tastic Jayk Parker:

A year after the body swap that let brat Jayk and his dom, Amon, experience each other’s lives for a day, the pair is ready to be married in a small, stress-free ceremony. Things are going smoothly until they meet Jennifer and Ron Gaines-Brake—a quarrelsome couple with a laundry list of troubles whose wedding is at the same venue. When Jayk and Amon are drawn into the other couple’s drama, their own doubts and fears about marriage start to surface. And when they accidentally switch bodies with Jennifer and Ron the day before the wedding, their simple, stress-free celebration starts looking more and more like a nightmare.

As the couples attempt to deal with each other’s families, secrets, and last minute wedding preparations, things spiral out of control. Add to the mix a missing cat, a vigilant police officer, an intimidating dildo, and a cake like no other, and it’s anybody’s guess whether the weekend will end in bells or bedlam.

Want to win some books? And read about crazy animals?

Today I am over at Tara Lain's blog, with my co-author for The Good Boy, JA Rock. We're taking part in the Paws with a Cause blogfest, and talking about crazy pets and our almost identical history of "Please! PLEASE MUM! Can't we keep it, PLEASE!" 

Check it out! You can win a copy of The Island, by me, your choice from JA's backlist, and a heap of other great prizes. 

Now, because there are only so many words you can write on a guest post, I talked about my cats, who are all adopted. I mean, obviously I didn't give birth to them, but I also didn't go to a pet shop and buy them. No, I had no choice but to take them in, you know, once I looked them in the eye. 

But because I had to keep it short and sweet, I didn't talk about Eudo. 

Also, because Eudo is a sad story. 

Eudo was the stray cat who used to come into my house and eat my cats' food. My cats hated him with a passion, but the sort of repressed British passion you only really see in Merchant Ivory productions. They glared a lot, and looked miffed, but Eudo didn't care. 

Eudo, not caring. 

Once, Eudo didn't come around for a few days. When he finally showed up, he was in bad shape: dragging his swollen leg behind him, his ear torn, his tail all busted up. But still hungry. 

So I made a vet appointment and gave him breakfast. 

"Don't eat too much, Eudo," said my mother, who was visiting that day. 

"Fuck it, Eudo," I told him, "eat as much as you want. Go nuts." 

Because I knew where this was going. 

The vet was very nice about it. Yeah, it was bad. Yeah, it would be the kindest thing. No, they wouldn't charge me. So I made the Grown Up decision. 

Which was no consolation at all when it occurred to me later: that stray cat, hit by a car, had managed to drag himself to the one place where he felt safe. And how did I repay him? 

With a Grown Up decision. 

You can't save them all, of course, but a part of me will always be the little kid standing outside the pet shop or the animal shelter, begging to have the chance.